Command 2012/01/23(Mon)20:58 No. 381798 ID: 16a987
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[command]-Well men, it wasn't easy but you did it, your in space and out of our planet's orbit... This is a great day for the kerbal space program, but an even greater day for mankind... I'm proud of you boys.

Command 2012/01/23(Mon)20:58 No. 381799 ID: 16a987
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[command]-I do how ever have bad news for you all... I'm getting reports that we neglected the return plan and you have no way of coming back home... Also we forgot to instal landing gear as well as parachutes... Well its been nice knowing you guys, command out~Bip!

[bill]-...

[bob]-...

[bill]-AAAaaahhh!!!

FlynnMerk 2012/01/23(Mon)21:00 No. 381800 ID: 16a987
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And so our space heroes engaged in hipper sleep in hopes to one day find a new planet, new life and a new way home...

Jebediah 2012/01/23(Mon)21:05 No. 381802 ID: 16a987
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Manny years later

>A loud siren sounds through out the ship! Signaling your approach to a new planet...

[Jeb]-YAY! We're awake! We're going on an adventure! WOO!

[bob]-Calm down Captain. You're giving me a head ache...

[bill]-Computer, what exactly are we approaching?

How would we know? Sensors are down since that adventure on Flyrgardia 3. We just know that a crash is imminent. That's the only piece of equipment that we still have access to.

Jebediah 2012/01/23(Mon)21:12 No. 381805 ID: 16a987
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[computer]-The ship is currently on a trajectory towards an unknown planet... how ever our trajectory leads us straight through a cross fire between two very large ships.

[bill]-AAaahhh!!!

[bob]-Captain what do we do? We'll be hit for sure!

[Jeb]-Do barrel rolls to avoid fire!

[bob]-What?! Damn it, I'm activating the support drone! ~Bep~ Support! what do we do?

-_ _ _

um .. pray ??? how on kerbal are you going to survive without a parachute landing ? maybe the qualities of the planet can answer that

Use the boost to get through!

well shit !

maintain constant barrel roll

Don't worry, we'll get you guys out of here! Probably in a charred wreck, but at least you'll still be out of here!

Engage the parachute and hope it catches their attention! Then the other one will kill the shit out of them while they're distracted and then rescue you !

angle the ship below the line of fire and then engage the maneuvering thrusters so all the ones on the bottom go off pushing you instead of turning.

>>381810
Wow, I just remembered that WE DON'T HAVE A CHUTE. WOW.

Let's just spin around as much as we can. Can't do much else.

>>381805
Don't we have any thrusters? Go around the combat area! If we're dead in the water uh I guess open communication with the ship that doesn't have a skull on its sail, and request that they keep you from getting shot somehow.

Crash into the pirate ship, and take control of the ship. Use it as a force of good and justice as irony.

Steal the pirate flag. Now you have a parachute!

yes. we must fly into the pirate flag.

Full power to clockwise angular maneuvering thrusters.

SPIN THEM TO DEATH.

>>381805
Open communications with the priate ship and tell them that you have knowledge of where to find vast amounts of booty. Disregard silly logic that would imply that they couldn't understand you because they're aliens.

Can we fire our Yamato cannons?

>>381805
Is SAS on? Turn that shit off and start spinning wildly until you start drifting towards another ship.

Obviously you fire Jeb out of the airlock, and he take over a ship.

>>381805
Quick! RAM THE PIRATE SHIP! Its' wooden hull might slow us down without killing us.

Jebediah 2012/01/25(Wed)14:56 No. 382149 ID: 16a987
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>>381809
[Jeb]-Ha! I knew it all along~

>>381849
[Jeb]-Now's not the time for that.

[bob]-what's a yamato cannon?

[Jeb]~Heheh Never mind...

>>381814
[bob]-We have no thrusters, no chute and no weapons. But we do have a communication array, I'll try to signal that vessel... I've got two signals withing range, Helicoid-3 and Das Rubby brig... I'm calling Helicoid.

*Ring~ring*

[???]-...e no time captain!

[captain]-It's clearly an SoS, he have to!

>The monitor fills with grey static... The massive ship is covered in bright pink explosions as it breaks in two...

[bob]-Aaahhh!!!

Jebediah 2012/01/25(Wed)14:56 No. 382150 ID: 16a987
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>Debris, escape pods and bright lasers flood outwards from the crashing behemoth... Amongst the rubble, one such pod is hurled directly towards your ship!

>>381839
[Jeb]-Like a beyblade, Support you're a genius!

[bob]-What?

[bill]-Aahhh!!!

>Jebediah slams the controls to the right! Spinning the ship clockwise

>The two space crafts collide and are jetted out in opposite directions...

Jebediah 2012/01/25(Wed)14:56 No. 382151 ID: 16a987
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>>381823
>>381827
>The SSlolfail is hurled straight towards the pirate's sails!

[bob]-Hah! Those sails can catch us like a net, we're saved!

>The ship tares right through the fabric ripping off a hulking piece.

[bob]-Or maybe not?

>Your ship is draped in pirate flag and sails violently towards the nearing planet!

Jebediah 2012/01/25(Wed)14:56 No. 382152 ID: 16a987
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>You light up like a roman candle as you approach the atmosphere... Searing heat busts your circuits and damages your receptors...

[bill]-Aaahhh!!!

~ 2012/01/25(Wed)14:57 No. 382153 ID: 16a987
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[...]-*KSshhh...*

Bob 2012/01/25(Wed)15:04 No. 382155 ID: 16a987
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[Bob]-KSshhhbout got it! There I think support's back online. Support can you hear me? can you see me? Are you there support?

Nope, we aren't here, sorry.

all signs point to maybe.

LA LA LA LA

aaaargh what day is it

>>382155
Lookin' kinda' fuzzy there, bro. How goes it?

we've got audio but no visuals

>>382155
The visual feed is absolutely crap, but yes!

Bob 2012/01/25(Wed)15:37 No. 382169 ID: 16a987
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[bob]-Hmm... Our scanners have detected a foreign cristalin-vaporic energy mist within the immediate atmosphere, it's probably conflicting with your nano-optic arrays... I'll try recalibrating your gravitax-radio atmitter, see if that work.

[bill]-It's a tactician not a rocket scientist! they probably don't even know what your saying...

[bob]-Can you see me now?

Bob 2012/01/25(Wed)15:58 No. 382177 ID: 16a987
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[bob]-I suppose your wondering what happened while you were out... We survived atmospheric entry thanks to that flag, I suspect it's made of thermal resistant material, which makes sense since it was on a spaceship. The crash was rough but we made it out alive, the S.S.lolfail is not in flying shape how ever, the outer haul is severely cracked and the command control as well as the SAS are damaged. Bill says he can fix it but we'll need new resources. As soon as we landed Jeb already had his suit on and hoped out of the shuttle before it even had the time to cool down a little, with out his helmet no less... Unfortunately he didn't have the good will to die so we're stuck with the idiot...
How about this, can you see me now? The immediate area is secure so I sent Jebediah out scouting ahead.
You really saved us out there Support, I like to think of you as my captain rather than Jeb. That's why I repaired you, Think you can help us survive out here?

yeah, now, we need weapons of SOME kind. got anything? even a knife. wild alien animals can be bad.

Time for some wilderness survival.

We'll need a source of water first off. Someone should scout out the surrounding area to find one. Second... well, you have a shelter of sorts already what with the ship. It might get hot in there during the day though so if you can set up a sort of tent using the remains of the thermal-resistant flag, that'd be handy.

Third would be looking for signs of civilization or lacking that, some way to get food. If we have any weapons, we could try hunting. This is an alien world, no telling what sort of things are edible here but usually meat is fine to eat. If you can find any indication that certain fruits or berries are commonly eaten by wildlife that could be worth a shot, BUT things that are safe for the local fauna to eat might not be safe for you. You'd want to be careful.

its an honnor to be your captain, dont worry were all gonna live. as soon as the later area is secure find food, leave what rations and space icecream you have for later since they probably keep better. Keep that fire alive,but maybe not on the ship, is there any wood or trees around?

heh heh heh. time to build a new spaceship. so... maybe?

Bob 2012/01/26(Thu)19:27 No. 382493 ID: 16a987
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>>382178
[bob]-I offered him a knife, but he refused, he said he didn't want a weapon if it's not a space gun and that until he gets one his karate will suffice, then he ran off... Well at least Bill and I are armed.

>>382288
[bob]-Yes... I think we can, if we can find the resources for it. You can help by helping me develop fuel tanks, engines, and other parts... I'm not expecting rocket science but good ideas will always be helpful. That and you can help Bill design the rocket based on the parts. I understand you supervised the construction of the S.S.lolfail?

>>382189
>>382191
[bob]-Captain you're a real survivalist, It's an honor to serve under you. Bill did you get all that?!

[bill]-sure did! I'll get working on the camp right away...

[Jeb]-GUYS! Guys come look! Look look look! You've gotta see this!

[bob]-Stay here bob, build a fire I'll be right back, if anything happens just scream I'll come help.

>Bob walks briskly trough the dense foliage towards Jedediah's voice.

[Jeb]-Look down this cliff.

>He leans over the cliff and peers down into the depths... Gears! Huge gears, turning and churning in the darkness bellow...

[Jeb]-It goes all the way down, I've tossed a rock down there and it rattled around for three minutes.

okay so 'don't fall in the cracks or you will be crushed by giant gears'

Look for a path that leads down or a device that could take you down, if the planet is made of gears then you can bet whoever made it also made a way to get around.

Bob 2012/01/26(Thu)19:34 No. 382496 ID: 16a987
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[Jeb]-I'm going down there...

[bob]-What?

[Jeb]-I'm going to climb down into the abiss... we need material for our ship and as a SpaceHero I'm the most qualified to brave the journey.

[bob]-Part of me wants you to go running off to your death and the other part wants my ally to survive.

[Jeb]-I can feel it, adventure is waiting for me down there... There's gonna lasers and action, explosions and I'm gonna save a princess of some kind! I can feel it bro!

[bob]-You know what? go ahead, I'm not even going to stop you. But it's getting dark out, maybe you should go at dawn?

[Jeb]-nah... I've gotta that feeling bro, I'd better go now.

[bob]-How about we let support decide? He is a military grade tactician after all. What do yah say Support?

-_ _ _

Do it bro!

he'll go whether we tell him to or not, would probably be wisest if all three of you went tho. You'll need all the hands you can get to acquire supplies for the ship, or even better find a new ship you could procure to take back home.

Everybody goes! For adventure!

A rock will fall down for 3 minutes without coming to a rest? That sounds more like DESCENT INTO BOREDOM than EPIC LASER ADVENTURE. Just take the top gear and jam something in it. I bet that will cause lots of adventure!

You need to get those gears out if you're going to fashion a spacefaring rocket out of their metal anyway.

>>382506
if that gear is three minutes away it is MASSIVE. like, ship can fit on a single tooth massive.
no way we can actually harvest a gear. look around under the crust for any beams leading to the surface. something has to be holding it up. that will be the way down without going splat.

jeb, you should go in the morning. You'll be more consious and better prepared, not to mention how shitty its gonna be down there in the dark.
Jeb should go alone, he can ahndle him self and the other two need to work on the desing.
Finally. Jeb, you still on cocain? That being said how long till you run out?

Jeb, don't you know there is nothing more epic than starting a heroic journey with the sunrise at your back? Wait until morning, it will be worth it.

obviously you should know that you don't do this kind of stuff without things like knives, ropes, shit like that. what kind of suckass space hero are you?

do you have a flash light? if you do, go ahead right away.

>>382587
This.

Not to mention, you might find a giant oh my god huge bird down there attempting to catch a giant oh my god huge but not as big oh my god huge as the big oh my god huge bird trying to catch said big oh my god huge worm.

Basically, GO IN THE MORNING. AWESOMENESS.

>>382496
Going down unequipped? Unprepared to rescue alien damsels in distress or even bring back the special thing that saves the day?

At least look for an elevator or something.

Grab some crystals. Crystals are useless awesome.

Jebediah 2012/01/29(Sun)19:57 No. 383294 ID: 16a987
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>>382506
[bob]-Well actually we'd need to find smaller bits, things that big would be a real pain to smelt into parts...

>>382508
[Jeb]-Oh! no that's not it support, this crevice leads down into the darkness, it's a three minute fall into the void, the gear's tooth is about... six maybe seven feet across, still pretty big!

>>382588
[Jeb]-Ropes and tools I'm down with, but no knifes! Little pansy back stabbers lick the blood of the blade gay ass shanks... Weapons for a main villain is what I think! Nope all I need is mah black belt.

>>382598
[jeb]-My helmet has side lights, but I'd rather not wear it, it detours from my main characterisms...

[bob]-*facepalm*

[Jeb]-fine I'll bring it with me

>>382696
[Jeb]-Well to quote an infamous doctor: CRYSTALS!!!

>>382674
[Jeb]-Yeah I think I saw one of those a little ways off, didn't think of using it, thanks

>>382512
[Jeb]-Yup! I still hit a few pounds a day, still got plenty in the shuttle, Teeheehee~ i'll have to bring some for my adventure!

>>382587
>>382636
[Jeb]-okay okay you've convinced me, I'll leave at dawn...

[Bill]-Aaahhh!!! Ghosts!

[bob]-shit! We've gotta go back Jeb!

Bob 2012/01/29(Sun)20:32 No. 383310 ID: 16a987
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[Bob]-Shitshitshitshitshitshit... Oh god... I don't want to die here... H-Help me! help me anybody! support are you there support!!!

-_ _ _

Wave your torch at them menacingly!

Bill and Jeb: GOGOGO

Bob: Use the torch! Hit them with it

>>383310
Bill stop being Bob you are a Bill

KILL THEM WITH FIRE.

use FIRE
jeb this is the first challenge, win and i will shut up about you needing a weapon.

>>383310
Don't attack yet, they may be friendly. Try saying hello.

Please for the love of god don't let the fire go out, it's the only thing keeping the big thing from approaching. Now, the ghosts. Do you have any weapons? That torch will do. Let them charge, evade them. Once they've attacked they need a couple of seconds to charge again, this is when they are vulnerable. Purge these corrupted souls!

ask what's up. they look friendly enough.

Jeb use your karate, flying kick now!

Bill 2012/01/30(Mon)19:12 No. 383536 ID: 16a987
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>>383348
>>383312
>Bill scrawls for the stick waving it about as soon as acquired...

>>383349
>>383326
[Bill]-Euh... H-hello I'm Bob I MEAN BILL! Bill... I-we're emissaries from another planet you see... I-i-i would l-like to be the first to say

[ghost]-maow

[Bill]-Aaahhh!!!

Jebediah 2012/01/30(Mon)19:12 No. 383537 ID: 16a987
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>>383313
>>383316
>>383322
>>383408
[Jeb]-ALL RIGHT LETS DO THIS!

>Jeb dashes into the fray yelling as hard as he can. He swiftly kicks the campfire into the air and leaps into the flames!

[Jeb]-TAKE THIS! BLAZING FLYING KICK!

>Startled and shook by the fireworks and bellowing wails, the catlike creatures flee as fast as they can into the night... The large black beast, engulfed in flames melts into a shadow and perishes in the light...

[Jeb]-HA! that's why I'm the best!

Jeb: be the best, and also on fire.

awesome! Kamina would be proud
can you stay on fire with out dieing? If not put your self out
start a new fire closer to the shuttle, and get some rest, bill and bob will guard the night shift, Jeb you need rest for your BIG ADVENTURE tomorow...

>campfire: level up.

Jebediah 2012/01/31(Tue)19:12 No. 383716 ID: 16a987
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>>383622
>>383547
>>383607
[Jeb]-Even I'm not immortal support...

>Jeb rolls himself out

[Bob]-Supports right! Come on Bill let's get to work

>Jebediah rests as well as he can in light of tomorrow...

Jebediah 2012/01/31(Tue)19:18 No. 383717 ID: 16a987
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[Jeb]-*Yawn!* Good morning support...

>He pears out the main window and waves to his comrades, they wave back...

[Jeb]-Good to know they're still standing... Man I need a hit! Where are you little fuckerahAHh! There you are... *Snort* Ha! Much better... Okay support what should we pack for this adventure!?

-_ _ _

ropes and pulleys, in case there are any big useful things to drag back. light, in case of dark.

>>383717
Rope, flashlight, batteries, clothing/protective gear, some sort of weapon? Or are you gonna just use your fists?

Oh, also rations and water.

oh god hes naked in his hearted underwear! I know where this is going

a knife. not as a weapon, but as a tool.

listen FlynnMerk, we`re gonna pick up every damn thing we see. Do you really want to draw every damn thing we see every damn page?
Give us a zeropoint storage device

Now, you will need food, water, cocaine, armor, torch, ropes and cocaine. But don't forget to NOT jump into the big hole, ok Jeb ?

oviously you need to take the escape tool you have for blowing your way out of a wrecked escape pod, and modify it into some kind of high power weapon. call it... a punch gun...

Jebediah 2012/02/03(Fri)17:17 No. 384171 ID: 16a987
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>>383789
>Flynn succumbs to the threat and spawns in a bag of holding... Don't expect anymore treats.

Jebediah 2012/02/03(Fri)17:17 No. 384172 ID: 16a987
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>>383761
[Jeb]-I believe the word you're looking for is... machete! And yes I agree.

>>383800
[Jeb]-Good Idea! We weren't gonna use these old decouplers anyways, better recycle them~

>Jeb macgyvers a PunchGun with the bits and pieces of the vertical decouplers...

Jebediah 2012/02/03(Fri)17:17 No. 384173 ID: 16a987
File 132831827320.jpg - (121.31KB , 800x600 , Ready.jpg )

>>383721
>>383723
>>383794
[Jeb]-Okay double checking now... I've got me some space iceCream, Cocaine, bottled water, a sturdy Machete, Cocaine, a gun, some make shift bullets, Cocaine, my space suite and helmet with integrated flashlight, rope, Cocaine and pulleys... That should just about do it!

[Bill]-Be careful Jeb and keep in contact.

[Bob]-*Yawn* I'm gonna take a nap, Wake me if you find anything...

[Bill]-Oh and Support, feel free to check back in with us at anytime, like if you come up with any spaceship plans

Jebediah 2012/02/03(Fri)17:18 No. 384174 ID: 16a987
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>Jeb pulls a lever on the mechanism and it plunges him into the darkness... Moments later lights flicker on just below him, turning almost as fast as you drop... The atmosphere is dusty and old... About a mile down the ride stops, before you is a catwalk leading up to a fork, the fork branches off into three passages leading to three separate mechanisms like the one you just rode, above them are three distinct symbols...

[Jeb]-Well you're the tactician, you get to choose... There's a screw, a pink square and a batman logo.

>>384174
Don't fuck with batman. Let's get screwed.

3 restrooms? We really are on an alien world!

Go with the pink handbag~

>>384174
Screw will take you to hostile machines and gremlins.
Pink square will take you to slime monsters.
Batman will take you to ghosts and soul-sucking demons.

I'm voting NOT BATMAN.
Actually, lets go screw because then we can seduce hot gremlin chicks.

>>384181
Awww yeah, hot aliens.

WAIT. you didn't forget the cocaine, did you?

go into the screw room. because it's fun to screw.

The screw, because PARTS and COMPONENTS.

lets go with the demons, whats the worst that can happen? stapplers?

Jebediah 2012/02/06(Mon)17:39 No. 384913 ID: 16a987
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>>384229
[Jeb]-Hold on let me check... yup all four rocks!

>Jebediah descends deeper into the abyssal pit... The dusty machine doesn't put up even the slightest protest, you can't help but feel a certain amount of respect for such an old yet efficient machine... the tool stops at another floor, several miles below the last... The floor is tiled with orange slabs or clay, broken by pass, the underside is coveted by stones... Jeb peers off the sides of the hulking platform.

[Jeb]-Amazing...

>Thousands of massive platforms taking every shape and form imaginable span outwards, suspended in flight by massive cables and supports... all of which tick and tock around like cogs and gears... It's almost as if the entire planet was some kind of ClockWork Cradle.

[Jeb]-This is looking like quite the adventure...

>our hero wanders the platform for some time, the flat open area shapes into corridors and tunnels... You hear occasional winding and wizing beneath your feet... Jeb stops and slides across a wall... He turns the corner just a peek and spots three little animals... They cackle and yip as they pull pieces from a statue...

[Jeb]~Heheh your move Support. Tactician me...

okay lets see, shoot the guy who put his hammer down, then run in and punt the dog, then when the engie turn the statue on break its neck so it shoots out at him instead. Then loot everything for everything.

>>384913
Observe for now, don't just run in guns blazing. They might not even be hostile.

>>384925
Of course they're hostile. They're aliens, and Jeb's a daring space man. How could you try to deny him his moment of daring heroicism?

Anyway, do what >>384918 said.

>>384913
Casually stroll out and say "Excuse me, fellow mechanics, but could you direct me to the nearest town?"

If they attack, shoot them.

All what I see is just unclaimed heat, coins and materials.

Murder their shit.