Suggestion 2011/11/13(Sun)20:17 No. 365509 ID: c7b6c2
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I guess I was drink too much vodka last night. I do not remember my own name! What was it again?

Hoviet Sero!

Vodka. That's your name.

>>365510
gonna have to go with this

>>365510
this

>>365510
Eeyup. that seems to be it.

>>365510
Hmm, needs someting more to it. I know! The Free Working Peoples Comrade For Fighting The Facist Pig Scum Hoviet Sero! Now that is a fitting name, it will probably be shortened for ease of us in the field though.

>>365520
I change my vote for this.

Trout 2011/11/13(Sun)21:33 No. 365526 ID: c7b6c2
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>The Free Working Peoples Comrade For Fighting The Facist Pig Scum Hoviet Sero
Da, that was it! I do not know what my parents were thinking. Maybe they were drunk! But comrades just call me "Hoviet".

>"HOVIET YOU ARE TO GETTING ASS OVER HERE NOW! I AM NEEDING AMMO!"

Aha, that is comrade Dimitri! He was given rifle, I was given ammo. Is making teamwork!

Trout 2011/11/13(Sun)21:33 No. 365527 ID: c7b6c2
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...Oh. I guess rifle is mine now! I just need to get it!

>>365527
Well only one way to get to it. Crawl over there from cover to cover and pick it up, then it's time to find something to shoot at with it. Remember to not waste any bullets, every one of those were lovingly made by a free worker to end the hateful life of a facist pig.

>>365527
Be sure and keep some cover between you and the enemy. Stay low, and keep alert!

You will be shot like a pig if you continue like this. Dig a shallow crawling-trench and dig your way to the rifle.

Lie on the floor. Do barrel rolls. Get rifle.

Inventory Check.

Trout 2011/11/13(Sun)22:03 No. 365536 ID: c7b6c2
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>Dig a shallow crawling-trench and dig your way to the rifle.
I am forgetting trench-digging shovel at barracks! I bring shame to family name.

>Lie on the floor. Do barrel rolls.
Last time I do this, I get mud all over uniform. Was very hard to clean!

>Crawl over there from cover to cover and pick it up
>keep some cover between you and the enemy
That is good idea, comrade! It is good thing I am so sneaky. I often had to hide from Mother when she tried to beat me while drunk.

>"Haha, good shot, Hans!"
>"Vhank you, Alfons!"

Nazi fascist pigs are celebrating the death of Comrade Dimitri! My only solace is that soon I will be ending them with the venerable Mosin-Nagant!

>Inventory check.
I am having bayonet, cleaning kit, knife, and fifty rounds of 7.62x54r. How should I ending their twisted lives?

>>365536
Gutshots of course, pop out of cover and plug one of them in the gut, then change your position by a few meters to the left, pop out again and plug the other bastard.

Sneak up. Take a good angle. Kill both with one shot. They don't deserve two bullets of Comrade Dimitri.

Anonymous 2011/11/13(Sun)23:54 No. 365556 ID: 6c5e30
File 132125725499.jpg - (1.66MB , 2304x1728 , Auto Nugget.jpg )

Craft peoples glorious nagant into glorious Auto-Nagant to better deal with German swines

Use your sneakiness to sneak up to them and then stab them. Then you'll still have all your ammunition, as well as all of theirs.

FIIIIX BAYONEEEEEET

1. Shoot Armed Facist Pig Hans.
2. Harness barbarian ancestry to hurl bayonet into skull of Unarmed Facist Pig Alfons.
3. Approach bodies from cover, loot for valuables.

Russia is land of pragmatic soviet! Ignore roundabout fascist ideas and shoot filthy German Nazi pigs!

>>365536
Shoot the one with the gun, then shoot the second before he can reach his own gun.

Shoot the gun out of hand. Make fascist pigs cower before glorious Soviet marksmanship.

First affix the bayonet. Then Shoot fascist pig with gun. Immediately charge at the second one while yelling "RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOODDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAA!". Then when you stab the second fascist pig, look around to see if you can toss him at any other fascists as you would toss a hay-bale back home on the collective farm.

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)17:13 No. 365655 ID: c7b6c2
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>Auto-Nagant
I am not wanting to disrespect Sergei Mosin nor do I have parts! That is pretty fun sounding idea though, comrade!

>sneak up to them and then stab them.
I am not that sneaky, comrade! They are against brick wall! I would be spotted!

>Shoot the gun out of hand.
But comrade, wouldn't that be waste of bullet? Stalin wants one bullet for one dead Nazi pig, not for broken Nazi potmetal firearm!

>Ignore roundabout fascist ideas and shoot filthy German Nazi pigs!
I think this is being best idea!

>Gutshots
>Use Bayonet

да, I can do that!

>"You are ze best German ever, Hans!"
>"Nein, zat is du, friend!"

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)17:13 No. 365657 ID: c7b6c2
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>"HURK."
>"Scheisse! Hans, nooooooo!"

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)17:14 No. 365658 ID: c7b6c2
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>"AAAAGH! Yoouuu… Russian schweinnnnn…"
Ah, I am glad that is over! The filthy German pigs had Inferior Nazi Pistol and 50 bullet for it! Nothing else, though. They are have been very poor! Or maybe they were also making teamwork!

>"OH GOD, HE IS COMING THROUGH! WE ARE NEEDING HELP!"
That is sounding like comrades! Should I go to helping?

OF COURSE! We are always having time for comrade in need!

>>365658

Help your comrades!

well keep the pistol and go help your comrades. If you find another "pair of making teamwork" give the other the pistol.

Keep pistol. Irony is being in killing Nazi Facist Pigs with Nazi Facist weapon! Like beating man to death with his arm.

Making stealth to help comrades!

>>365658
Of course you must help your comrades. Let out a good and proper "Urra!" and then charge off in their direction.

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)18:48 No. 365675 ID: c7b6c2
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>Keep pistol.
>Irony
Да! That is very good reason, comrade! Now every dead Nazi pig is having more humor!

>Help your comrades!
Okay, I am go help!

>"Private Sero! I am glad you are not dead."
да, so am I! What are you needing help with?
>"Something--"
>"AAAAAAA HELP HELP AAAAAA OH NOOOOOOO"
>"SHUT UP, IVAN! Some thing very large, angry, and German is behind brick wall. Is trying to getting through. We are doing defense to stop."

This is sounding very dangerous! There is many cover in area. What is the plan being, comrades?

>>365675
Circle around side at distance, staying in covers. Then, shoot angry German and any of his fascist pig companions before they are seeing you.

>>365675
Give Ivan the facist pistol so he can feel falm and cool by having two pistols. Then spread out behind cover and wait for the facist goosemarching pig to show himself so you can gun him down in the name of the Motherland!

>>365675
Prepare petrol bombs. Whatever's behind that wall, a petrol bomb should at least slow it down while you try to find a way to kill it.

Also, move away from the wall and take cover.

>>365675
Set up a killzone so that whatever comes through gets shredded in a crossfire of bullets and petrol.

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)20:26 No. 365708 ID: c7b6c2
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>Prepare petrol bombs.
Yes! I took strong vodka and put petrol in. Is waste of good vodka, but will burn anything!

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)20:26 No. 365709 ID: c7b6c2
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>Give Ivan the facist pistol
Take inferior facist pistol, Comrade Ivan!
>"Вот это да! Thank you, Comrade! Now I am feel like real badass!"

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)20:26 No. 365712 ID: c7b6c2
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>Set up a killzone
>staying in covers.
I will do that! I also reloaded Mosin-Nagant!
>"He is coming through! Getting behind cover, Comrades!"

Trout 2011/11/14(Mon)20:28 No. 365713 ID: c7b6c2
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>"RAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I SMELL COMMUNIST SCUM! COME OUT TO YOUR SLAUGHTER LIKE THE PIGS YOU ARE!"

>>365713
Firing and throwing all of weapons now!

For Motherlaaaand!

CAST BOOLET.
Aim for open mouth, is weak point in Large Facist Pig's fleshy armors!

Light the vodka/petrol bomb then throw it right in his mouth. Show him the taste of justice!

Destroy this fascist abomination with the purifying fires of your petrol bombs! Also don't forget to use you guns as well.

Ugh! Disgusting facist pigs and disgusting experiments of theirs! It's a cross of a Jewish elephant with a German wild boar! Rage the thing! Swear its hideous ancestors! Draw attention of it and let Ivan and Bossy weaken the beast! Now! Hit the weak point for massive damage! Shoot at the impure heart of this filthy and stinky hog!

>>365713
TAAAAAAAAAAAANK!

Shoot him where it hurts. Anywhere. Also the face.

Trout 2011/11/15(Tue)17:18 No. 365899 ID: c7b6c2
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>your petrol bombs
>right in his mouth
>Show him the taste of justice!
Да! FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!

>Rage the thing! Swear its hideous ancestors!
YOUR MOTHER WAS... UH... UGLY LADY!

Trout 2011/11/15(Tue)17:18 No. 365900 ID: c7b6c2
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>"AAAH, ZIS TASTES LIKE BLOOD OF RUSSIANS!"
О, нет!

SHOOT MOLTOV

>>365900

Da, shoot molotov, comrade.

TASTE THIS! Shoot the poor good vodka! Make this monster burn!

Trout 2011/11/15(Tue)19:16 No. 365960 ID: c7b6c2
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>shoot molotov
Hahaha! I am make good shot! Fire is everywhere! Comrade vodka has done his part well!

Боже мой! Large German has wounded superior officer! And is not even slowing down even with many bullet! Is not looking good!

Tell him his shoe is untied.
Shoot him in the eye,

Provoke the beast! Direct it to a damaged building!

>>365960
See if you can sneak around this burning Bavarian brute and stab him in the back of the neck with your trusty bayonet.

Shoot his only remaining arm!

>>365960
Attack his swastika for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

Are you brutes mad? Engaging in close combat with stupid behemoth is suicidal! We need to lure and trap it! Let's collapse an entire building over the head of this fat pig!

>>366027
You had many vodka, comrade. Look again. The beast still holds his two plump arms.

Punch him.

Shoot him in eyes!

Aim for the GROIN. Removing the meganazi's MANHOOD may cause him to become less HUGE and more vulnerable to BOOLET.

>>366110
Shoot his weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE! POW POW!

Trout 2011/11/16(Wed)16:19 No. 366133 ID: c7b6c2
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>sneak around this burning Bavarian brute
Comrade, that would be like sneaking around tornado! Tornado that is wanting to kill me!

>Attack his swastika
Brute is not wearing frilly Nazi pig armband! How strange!

>Shoot him in eyes!
We have tried this! Helmet must be make from strongest steel!

>Tell him his shoe is untied.
Nazi brute! Boot is untied!
>"Uhhhhhhhhhh..."

Trout 2011/11/16(Wed)16:21 No. 366137 ID: c7b6c2
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>Aim for the GROIN
>MASSIVE DAMAGE!
Haha! Brute is… only getting more angry! Is yelling in Nazi language!
>"ARRRRRRRGH RUSSIAN SCUM DU IST DYINK NEXT!"
I think we have done very bad thing…

…Comrade Ivan has flee like coward! Maybe is best if we do same!

Quick, throw another Moltov into his gaping maw and shoot it, then abscond and lose him in some ruins!

>>366137
But being a coward will get you shot by the Commissar! Anyone who runs away gets shot, you might as well make an heroic last stand for Mother Russia!

>>366137
Demand of brute to realize that floor is lava, and this is why he is on fire!
Then be absconding for safe vantage point to prep further Molotov while brute seeks shelter!

>>366160
Yes, fascist brute is not having of the intelligence, lava-floor strategy is being good idea!

Run you sorry sack of meat!

Convince him of "the Glamorous life of the POW in the Gulag, with its 5 Diamond lodging and dining" considering that hes not exactly a paragon of intelligence. Or you could just bayonet him in the head, whatever floats your boat.

Light everything around him on fire, including him.

Trout 2011/11/16(Wed)20:42 No. 366199 ID: c7b6c2
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>throw another Moltov
I was only have enough vodka and petrol for one!

>being a coward will get you shot by the Commissar!
You are right, Comrade! I must fight for Mother Russia, even if is taking my life! Or, uh...

>lava-floor strategy
Uh... uh... OH NO! GROUND IS NOW LAVA!
>"W...was?! Oh, nein! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Trout 2011/11/16(Wed)20:43 No. 366200 ID: c7b6c2
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>"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
Haha… okay, brute has been standing on top of wall for ten minute now. Is not getting old! I think we are safe for now!

>"Uhhhhh… Private Sero?"
Да, that is me!
>"Huff… huff… I am having orders for you to report to command. Order is coming straight from top, so I do not think you should delay."
I will see what they are wanting! спасибо!

This is very important order! Is there anything I am needing to do, or should I be going now?

Convince him into giving up using >>366193 and then go see what the commanders want.

Go do report in!

Ask for vodka. Go report with vodka.

>>366200
Grab the other guy's SMG. He's dead or nearly dead by now, he doesn't need it.

Trout 2011/11/17(Thu)19:17 No. 366350 ID: c7b6c2
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>Convince him into giving up
Uhhh... Attention Nazi! Russian POW gulag is not having lava! Having beds like finest American hotel! Will cook finest Russian cuisine for you!

ничего себе... large brute has began running eastward! Maybe will find POW gulag on his own! Haha, is not very smart at all!

>Grab the other guy's SMG
I do not think that superior officer is being alive! Or maybe is just being very still! I do not know, I am not doctor.

Am now having trusty PPSh-41! Is having two circular magazines. One is full with 71 rounds of 7.62x25, the other has 44 rounds. I have always wanted one!

>Ask for vodka
Excuse me, Comrade! Are you having of any vodka?
>"Uhhh... нет, sorry."

Хорошо! Going to command now, yes?

Yes.

Get on down there

Trout 2011/11/17(Thu)21:58 No. 366375 ID: c7b6c2
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Okay, I am walk to command tent!
>"Private Sero, da?"
Da, that is me!
>"Sero, Mother Russia needs you. Nazi war machine has been tearing across Russia and we are unable to stop. Many comrade has been lost. Our glorious Communist way of life is at stake."
>"We are receive intelligence that a vital part of Nazi operation is located in western part of Russia. You are to be taking a team of many Allied country soldiers there to put end to Nazi madness. If you fail then Motherland will surely fall."
>"Sero, this is dangerous mission. I do not blame you if do not accept, but your military career will ending very quickly and will be disgrace to Mother Russia. We can find another patriot in that case. The team is waiting outside. What do you say?"

Uhhhh…

Exactly how much is many?

>>366375
You are being said yourself: You must fight for Mother Russia, even if is taking your life.

Answer is simple, comrade! Accept mission, kill fascist swine, save glorious Communist way of life, and maybe give order to Capitalist pig Allies!

Pretty sure he's just gonna shoot you if you decline. Pretty sure...

>>366375
You will probably be dragged away and shoot by chekists if you don't accept. So accept it with the comment that you serve the Soviet Union!

Why the hesitation? You can be a hero, Sero! A Sero for Motherland! With many vodka, women, riches and vodka! If you survive!

Say yes. You can't be a hoviet sero if you aren't in the military and aren't attacking giant horrible nazi death-tanks covered in guns and high speed razor-bladed spinning mine flails and the hugest treads (for crushing heads).

on one condition:

we need more pancakes.
(explosive pancakes)

>>366449
And vodka! Never forget vodka!

Is honor to serve glory of Mother Russia! Accepting mission.

Ask for one of them nifty ushankas too!

Trout 2011/11/20(Sun)18:50 No. 366893 ID: c7b6c2
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>Accept mission
Да! I accept! Is glory to serve Motherland!

>pancakes (explosive)
>vodka
>ushankas
Excusing me, Командир! If I am to complete mission, I am needing, uh, special equipment!
>"Of course, Private. You are having full access to our armories. Almost all weapon from Motherland or Allied nations we can give."

Невероятно! What do I bringing with me?

Trout 2011/11/20(Sun)18:50 No. 366895 ID: c7b6c2
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You may also procure new uniform for Private Sero, if you like! Please be keeping appropriate! It is very sad if Sero is being shot for wearing Space Nazi pig uniform!

Also, we require lemon-shaped grenades.